I had written another article last week, just after my last midterm exam, that ended the brutal 6 exam cycle I had to endure, and that is with me taking 2 relatively relaxed courses. I am currently sitting at my disaster of a desk, research articles piled on top of textbooks, novels, post-it notes and handouts. Course materials are just laying there with different scribbles in different coloured ink because I am still a child that loves coloured pens, despite being 36.
My birthday had passed and I didn’t even celebrate, I’m just that busy. I didn’t even get a drink either, didn’t hop to local bar or go downtown to catch a movie at Bell Lightbox. I actually didn’t find out that Coolio died until today, “We’ve been spending most our lives, living in a gangster’s paradise”, you know that guy.
I am preparing for Finals, I am taking 5 courses per semester, and if I pass with adequate marks, I will be taking 6 next semester. I told myself I wouldn’t do this to myself ever again, taking 5 courses. So I enrolled in 6, because I am a fucking retard. It’s as if I strive in stressful situations. They make me feel like I am capable, weirdly enough.
I have taken a strong liking to Theatre, you can say that I have been awoken. I now see how theatre affects different people, and how it provides avenues to express themselves, just like how music can sometimes explain the ways we feel when we don’t have the words. I’ve seen theatre on just about every aspect of theatre, that you can experience in an educational institute. I have even seen theatre about education and theatre, which is phenomenal to think of.
It seems that in my life, I have lived a very sheltered, closed off style of parenting. In part I believe this is because of a religious upbringing, another may be because my parents wanted to control everything. It was detrimental to my upbringing, at least that’s how I felt, from a competitive standpoint. Not only was I not exposed to what the world had to offer, I also didn’t know what I wanted from the world. The car accident that resulted in my TBI in 2005 didn’t help at all either.
That’s another story for another day I suppose, but here I am at 36, getting prepared for 5 final exams and to have 18 year olds outperform me. I got to breathe for a day, it’s Saturday as I am writing this and I am exhausted. I really don’t know if I will be successful at Cognitive Neuropsychology, and instead am looking into Virology and Infectious Diseases. I really like biology, I remember not taking it because I didn’t want to dissect dead baby pigs, and frogs.