Today is my birthday!

34, I am still alive!

It’s not even that hard to believe, after that car crash 15+ years ago, where I ended up almost dying, I have taken my health a little more seriously. Although I didn’t stop smoking until I was 31, I wasn’t even that much of a smoker to begin with until after the accident. I was running an average a pack a week, mind you that isn’t a real number as friends would bum smokes, I would bum smokes, everyone kind of bum smokes, so really, I don’t have an exact number.

I spend the last 7 years walking on eggshells around everyone, especially white women. Don’t ask me why or how, and I am not racist, that’s just how things happened with me. The worst part is that these are younger white women, and I am the older coloured guy, and even older white males would feel bad for these younger white women, and I would get in trouble or blamed.

My cousin, he always said that I was never around family, that I was always with my friends 9which isn’t true at all), yet I started to hang around my family more. Only to find out that it was my family that spread rumours about each other and ended up being toxic to each other. Not all my family, and not all the time, but I figure that because we are family, we learn to accept that behaviour, I suppose. I’m cool with my grandparents and my parents, my American relatives though, that’s more of a crap shoot.

I still have moments where I don’t think I am good at anything, especially when it comes to writing. I invested the beginning of my life into primarily two things, music, and lacrosse. Problem was I was also trying to be cool, a good break dancer (I wasn’t), a good friend, have a good body, make a name for myself (and by association my younger siblings), I wanted so many things, but I never knew how I was going to get there.

Well, do you ever have that thing where you just want to get your own coffee because you know what you are feeling like and not anyone else?

Anyway, I got to plan out the week ahead of me, tomorrow I have this Rotman Management talk, should be good. I already forgot what it was about, behavioural something probably. Well I am going to enjoy the rest of my day, perhaps I will start writing about the government and politics again. I have signed up for Parler and Gab, among other social networks, but those two are particularly right leaning, and the social culture is so different than Facebook or Twitter. I was reading some stuff on Microsoft News, and there was an ad for Trump announcing his 2024 run at the Biden inauguration. When you go on Parler or Gab, it’s as if Trump didn’t lose at all. Voter Fraud that, cheating the system there, Pennsylvania and Georgia recounts, stop the steal! The posts are so different than what is on Facebook or Twitter, Parler and Gab are totally different beasts.

Oh, and Tyson beat Jones. I don’t care what anyone else tells you.