I think I have reached the point of no return.
My parents thinks that my life is some game they can control.
Not even my parents, other adults. They think of me and their kids (basically anyone younger than them) as less intelligent, we don’t understand their “hidden messages”.
Just last night I was watching the latest Star Wars movie, and this guy was motioning me to commit suicide. Lately, a lot of men have been committing suicide, usually be hanging.
I read a lot as well, and I have read a lot about the hockey enforcers that have commit suicide, the media says it’s CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy), but I know it’s not. I have a brain injury, which is much more debilitating than CTE.
People want me dead, there’s no doubt about that. It’s as they think that this is symbolic, and which is why they keep pushing for my suicide. It’s honestly really annoying, and childish.
What’s worse is that I literally have very little control of the thoughts that enter my brain, I have a lot of rrestraint on how I carry out those thoughts and impulse (I’ve gotten to the point where I rarely act on impulse, even when the situation calls for it). My slowed reaction is part of my brain injury, but has been exasperated by these people who read things on the internet or hear from other people things about my condition, and somehow they are now doctors specializing in brain injury.
This allows other people who are in positions of authority, especially managers or those who are influential to certain groups of people, to blame my “behaviour” as being the problwm and not theirs, because I have a disability. I don’t know if you can imagine this, but if anything, you can understand social media trolls and just media in general, how perceptions and stories get twisted.
Anyway, happy new year I guess.