Is This What They Call Victory?

My little case against the college, the interim trespass and interim suspension for one of my articles that I had written on medium, is reversed. I think that they probably were always going to do this, but they seriously thought that my feelings or time wasn’t an issue?

Honestly, it was a waste of my time and resources, to be honest with you the amount that this caused me distress didn’t even seem to matter to the college. The whole feeling I get was that I was used, to be an example. Everyone wants me to train their people for free, or to “teach” the younger kids what I know, what I have in some cases, bled for.

Initially, the first meeting we had was them (Security Investigations) asking me questions about my creative processes, and why I write the way I do. It felt as if I had to open up about how and why I write the way I do, just because they couldn’t understand simple english language. I had to prove that I had no intent on actually causing or advocating for the harm of women, just because a member of the Journalism faculty decided to report me. The mere mention of dabbling in a black-pilled Incel subgroup was enough to have me assessed at high-risk and removed from my program, I feel as if I am back to square one.

I will go in tomorrow, estranged, not only did I have to deal with the fact that I am a mature student, but I also have to deal with “I am that estranged student who got taken out of class for advocating violence toward women”. No one is going to care that I was falsely accused, no one is going to care that the decision has been rescinded. This is going to hang over my head for the rest of my journalism career. If I were to run against anyone for a job as a reporter or journalist, all they have to do is find out that I was accused of such, without thinking twice they will throw my resumé in the trash; perhaps I won’t get a call back for an interview, or the second round.

It’s hard to carry weight like this around, I already have to carry the weight of having an invisible disability (which I am sure, not very many of you actually experience). I’m sick of people that go on to say they have anxiety, and that is an invisible disability as well, it’s the difference between being slightly overweight to obese. One you can still function, the other may involve operating machinery to get you out of bed.

Not the same.

If anyone had been following me and my life, this is what happened. I wrote an article, titled “Journalism is Going Great!…” earlier to express my stressed out brain. A teacher had reported me as being concerned, apparently this Professor had enough clout with the College that the Security Investigations decided to forego the “Investigations” part in their job description and give me an Interim Trespass and Interim Suspension Notice. In the week leading up to the political debate between the Beaches-East York riding candidates, one could only assume that they didn’t want me prepared for the debate, or to attend at all.

After I hadn’t been allowed to attend the class, and was escorted off the property (which I held my composure, but hurts after a place you thought was becoming a second home had you escorted off) I would be lying if I didn’t feel as if everything that I had built up in my head just came crashing down. I spent the next day, trying to unpack everything that just happened and what my next move was, as my schedule had been totally wiped and cleared. I thought that I could do course work, however I felt so betrayed; surely, my faculty knew me better than this.

The first meeting was arranged and I attended, rather haphazardly, a lot is happening and this was just enough. It doesn’t help that I am doing this all alone either. So I get to the meeting, and I ended up doing their job for them. Instead of going and “investigating”, they’d rather just decide that I am guilty and now I just need to fight for my innocence. They questioned my integrity, my creative process, they had me answer why I do or stand for what I do.

I answered happily, like a tool.

I honestly thought that whole meeting was a joke, I was told that the ban would be lifted either later that day pr the next day (which was a Friday). Next thing I know, I am left with my dick in the wind, and I am being asked for a second meeting. I get a phone call saying that I needed to attend to go over some details, which I obviously and furiously refused, as they found out later why. Those details that they wanted to discuss, turned out not to matter at all to my trespass and suspension notice.

I had agreed to meet them, on a campus that was close to me, the person that phoned me to follow up was part of the Student Experience and Ethics department. She explained to me what is going on, what the meeting was really for, the original location was at the Security Investigations main campus I suppose. Anyway, at the second meeting (which happened today), is when I learned of these “details” that the Security Personnel wanted to discuss; of which, turned out to have nothing to do with them at all. After a heated discussion, my ban was eventually lifted, and my suspension terminated. We ended up parting ways, I’m certain we aren’t getting drinks together anytime soon, or ever.

As of now that part is over, I now still have the work I missed to catch up on, and to deal with being seen as a “the sleezeball who defends guys who abuse their women”.

On top of everything, the head of Security said I was being very disrespectful; as if I wasn’t losing anything.

Wish me luck.

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