Before I start, I want to say that I have been involved as an activist for a long time. In university, I attempted to start a mental health student group, for sometime I just watched it decay and wither into its inevitable demise.

Distorted, I stand; decaying at best.

I have been battered, bruised and exhausted. I have fought with the best of them, that I can get my hands on; beat them all, to the point where they avoid talking to me. Some people will still want to fight me, but that’s because they cower behind colleagues and friends. But there is a problem now.

I have dived into the female mind, I have seen what they are capable of. For starters, I’ve lost all trust in women. I barely trust my own mother, that’s really bad (although that’s not quite because of feminism and the varying degrees of feminists I have encountered). I’ve seen what these young women are capable of, I see the manipulative tactics they are using; in media, the workplace, academia.

Fucking Hollywood, it’s like everywhere. I just can’t escape this torture of men and abolishment of masculinity. I’m so tired of this, when I am online (which is almost always) all I see is plain old female bullying. I hate bullying.

Ever since I was a kid, I stood up to bullies for friends, for myself, for random people. Yet this is becoming a lot to take, it’s hard; especially when there isn’t any one else who stands with you. I am 32, I like women in general. But that’s because I have a view of them before all of this feminism went haywire. If I had a view of females right now, or I grew up in this environment; I’d hate women. I recently read an article where our young males are growing up without any masculinity in their life and it’s becoming a real problem. The boys are becoming agitated, aggressive and fed up without any outlets in schools for boys.

Are we to blame fathers? I don’t know but erasing masculinity in schools, and raising your boys to some feministic ideology. Seems fucked up, and you are doing the boy a disservice. That’s totally in my opinion, I can’t find the article; I really need to document these things better.

Although, fighting for men’s rights is needed, but what do I need personally? I feel if getting into a relationship, I’d be letting those young men down. “Don’t you know the injustices that these females are doing? You’re now siding with them?“. It’s really a them vs us mentality, it feels like I am letting the young men, and older MGTOW men down.

Now I know that this kind of thinking is preposterous, yet it’s not uncommon or outrageous. I imagine this is what women deal with all the time, and boys deal with too. It’s not like we weren’t trained like this from the get go, especially if you meddled in gangs or even competitive sports teams. It’s also a double whammy, because I have seen data that contradicts everything that feminists have been saying.

Some men are fucking assholes, that’s not going to change. However, 80% of women I’ve met are egotistical bitches. So there’s that. I’m just torn because I see the ways that a woman can screw over a man, and I also see the ways that a man really can’t do anything about it.

I lose practically all my 20’s, and I’m trying to get it back while moving forward with my life. I’m absolutely torn because my friend told me when I had already lost a lot of my hair, he told me this; “Don’t worry about what you have lost, just try to save what you have”.

~AA