Crazy thought, should you fight to the death the one you love? How about the special someone you like, should you take abuse just for the sake of being attracted to her (or him); should I be humiliated or alternatively break you until one of us is begging for the other?
I have heard of this idea that “love is war“, and a lot of people actually think of this practise of having tremendous relationship value. And I am here to say no, it doesn’t. It’s actually super harmful to each individual and the couple as a whole.
“He who is prudent and lies in wait for an enemy who is not, will be victorious.”
— Sun Tzu, “The Art of War”
I got this exact quote from a medium article on how Robert Mueller is playing long-ball. I haven’t read the article, though I have read the book “The Art of War“. Additionally, I could have searched for another quote; yet, I really don’t give a shit. I could have just as easily not said what I just did, wrote the quote anyways word for word and you would have no idea I did anything.
There you go, a quote directly from Bible of war strategy. In order to be victorious, one must not act so hastily, rather they should be patient and wait. How do you go around being patient with trying to date someone, I have to wait for it? I have to wait for them to figure things out, so I just sit on the sidelines not dating anyone else; that’s what your parents want you to believe.
Well, I think mine do.
“So, Mommy, Daddy (I am 31 and yes I call my parents by those names), I am supposed to wait until the girl I like learns that I really like her? I can be constantly disrespected and made to look inferior, be the nice guy?”
“Yes, we want a safe, risk free life for our children. That’s what girls really want, is security and routine. Be the nice guy, because it doesn’t matter when you finish, as long as you finish my son”
Again, Fuck No.
When I’m older and set in my career, I don’t then want to start dating. In my opinion that is much too late, I’d like to experience different things along the way. You know, I think I know where this stupid logic comes from. It’s from over generalization, and who does that the best; let me rephrase that, can you think of any group of people, maybe a gender or something, I don’t know I’m just throwing ideas out here, that likes to jump to conclusions?
Even in war, do you just sit around trying to survive the longest; no, you try to conquer as much shit as you can. So love is like war, against nature and time. This is how I think of it, you’re fighting to maximize your life’ value; like Monopoly where the real estate and houses can be thought of as that, or as something intangible; life experiences. You’re competing against every else that wants it all, a full life. Hold on, wait just one second…
I’m having trouble continuing because I’m trying to “model” this phenomenon as if love is rational. Humans are not rational, not even in the slightest. Also I started this article as love is not war, and it shouldn’t be; it’s not even like my Monopoly analogy (actually I am not going to lie, that Monopoly analogy is pretty dope). Life experiences aren’t some commodity that you can buy and sell like a piece of property, life experience is more like that tattoo.
So as a matter of fact, love is like a war of Monopoly more than WW1 (insert petty criticism of feminist ideology here, typical of the chauvinistic misogynist I am).
My advice is that yeah, you can be patient waiting for love. While your waiting for love, find someone who is going to make you live more enjoyable now. Basically, stop waiting for people to realize what they did wrong, or how they hurt you; and just find someone else to enjoy life with.
Then who knows, love will probably blindside you.