Well, I used to be filled with ideas and things to write about.
I even had a “story board” where I would write down ideas I’d like to talk about. I never really used them though, I still have yet to write about “Denialism”.
The thing is, a lot of things do happen in my life that I want to write about. I just have to balance my writing with loved ones privacy. It’s hard because yes I need to write to get those ideas out of my head at times, or some may continue to occupy space in my mind. Also, people whom read my writings tend to do crazy things, and then just blame my writing.
Meh, more than three quarters of these people just blame me because they can. Honestly, it’s getting kind of old. Maybe I should write that denialism piece after all.
After I got expelled from Centennial College, which I had put so many things in place, I now had to go backward and cancel everything. If you son’t know what that feels like, I’ll tell you (because it has happened often), it’s one part humiliating, one part discouraging, one part shameful, two parts hurtful, and one part saddening.
I had all these goals and ambitions, and I am 34 this year, so time was of the essence, everything just got shattered. Now, I am fearful of writing, or talking to anyone, it’s like the summer of 2017 all over again. In a way, maybe this contributes to my writers block.
I truly want to write about thousands of experiences, stories, my insights, some issues I still find hinders our society, the health care system, the mental health care system. My father.
In a way, aside from the fear or being punished for something I didn’t say or do, I think complaining about things really isn’t that helpful. I don’t have some influence, or power over others, at least not that I know of and I don’t use this imaginary power.
I didn’t even know what to write about now, I’m just writing for the sake of writing.