I imagine myself in a desert, the sky is hues of purple and a deep, dark blue. The stars are shining brightly, there is a lone palm tree to my left, a pond beneath it. As I sit on the warm sand, that’s just beginning to cool, I look straight into a concrete wall. Gray, simple, not too tall or wide, I could run around it, but I think to myself that would be a very unimaginative way out; I have to go through that.

Happy Holidays!

Yeah I know, it sickens me to say that as well. I think with the pressure of the year coming to an end, and the enviability of spending holidays alone again (I seriously don’t even want to see my family), my brain has had it’s extra resources that were available, consumed.

I seriously can’t think of writing anything anymore, I mean I have ideas to write about. But not ideas that give enough to write about. So, I am just going to talk about what is happening. Since I have gotten out of university, it seems that feminism has become man-hating, men-blaming, we need to retrain our young boys as girls, doctrine of testosterone hate.

I’m not saying

there isn’t messed up men

There are, and there are a lot of manipulative women that exist as well. I find that the biggest problem about feminism is that it doesn’t want to go down the route of accepting any responsibility. There was an article on Medium.com titled that men are fully and the only ones responsible for unwanted pregnancies. I thought it takes two people to have a child.

(I don’t want to cite the article, because that in turn gives this author clicks and traffic, it’s not like a tangible book where you can glance it, and then say *Oh, she is an idiot*, and then put the book back down on the shelf)

Then there is another writer, who I frequently clash with, yet I do read her stuff, that admits that there is toxic femininity. Her title is about it’s time to address toxic femininity, but then in the article talks how toxic masculinity is a problem. She spends a paragraph on toxic femininity, yet tries to excuse this behaviour and refrain the narrative to be toxic people. But that’s somehow okay, toxic people is gender inclusive now.

Do you see how that works? When it was just toxic masculinity in the crosshairs, men to be exact, it was okay to have the gender label there. But now as toxic femininity has come to light, we’ll pretend that we didn’t exclusively target and associate the word toxic with being masculine.

Anyway, I am now a men’s activist, I dabble in the MGTOW group and try to talk and understand incels. I hate death, especially when it’s unnecessary. I don’t want to see anymore tormented souls, the internet is full of stupid bullies who don’t see what is the real effect of their acts of verbal violence, rumour spreading, hate mongering etc.. I want to say I am a part of the MGTOW, I want to say I’m a voluntary involuntary celibate. I want to say that yes, fighting all these people and bullies have taken a toll on me.

What do you know,

looks like I finally broke through that

wall.