Hey!

Man, there is so much that I want to say, especially about the way that everything is happening right now. It’s weird, but my brain seems to be calming the fuck down, and I haven’t increased the concentration of my medication or the dosage!

Okay, I just got finished with the third week of the summer semester, and this week’s lab I got destroyed. I thought we were doing an entirely different experiment, luckily my lab partner just crushed the experiment for the both of us.

What really fucked with me is that I am usually frantically trying to get everything set up for the start of the semester, butt some asshole decided that it was in his (or hers) best interest to shut down our entire learning management system. I have no files, I must access a shared file folder with each professor, and I have two lab reports due each week in two very different labs.

Anyway, today I just felt everything was slowly coming together, like I was crushing my chemistry work, I was taking good notes (I’ve returned to pen and paper, but I am going to switch back to the remarkable e-paperbook). I can focus now; I think my medication is hovering at it’s sweet spot (or maybe I am doing more activities outside?). I don’t mean that I still don’t use headphones or get distracted, angered or annoyed, I just can manage it less.

However, it may be because I am back in a psychology course, where I arguably feel more comfortable.

Lab Work

In the analytical chemistry lab, we are just running through basic calculating measurement error and variance. This time we were using erythrosine B, another weak ass chemical. I miss organic chemistry labs, I can’t believe I am saying this.

The work is just so boring, even when I don’t really know what I am doing, I can still just do like 70% of the lab just based off procedural knowledge.

All we were doing is transfer, weigh, pour, fill, swirl, fill more, stretch parafilm, invert, pour, dilute, weigh, record weight, re-weigh. At least in organic chemistry we got to distill, recrystalize, separate layers, we did some chromatography, mass spectroscopy, NMR stuff, you never know what you have until its gone, I guess.

There really isn’t much to say about lab, they are both B level courses (second year undergraduate) and they are introductory level labs. Though there is one thing that I have learned, rather late. The reason why it takes me so long to clean after the lab, is because I am treating chemicals as biological organisms.

My lab partner just told me, water is sufficient for most glassware. You just run the water through and that cleans everything. I biology, I have to kill everything and make it sterile! So in chemistry, I am using detergent and washing every piece of glassware.

Ecology we spent outside, counting trees, then plants, at three different “altitudes”. It was hot, there were stupid insects that bit me, and I was dehydrated a little bit, the water I had was old and probably smelly (which means probably some bacteria).

I have to do some background research on the Birkdale Ravine, and maybe Thompson Park. I will have more pictures, I just got this new disposable style digital camera, my Canon Rebel is just too big to carry with me in the field with all my notes and electronics. So I am hopeful that this should work.

Developmental Psychology

You know, I think because I am in this course I feel at peace, honestly! It’s like my academic career is coming to a close, I finally got the snake to eat it’s own tail. I am watching lectures and this week they got into genetics and genetic influence on development (I am still a week behind though), I just spent a whole semester on Genetics and Behaviour.

I just hope I am not too overconfident.

Film

Saturday night I was supposed to see a movie about body dysmorphia (they termed it body horror), but I actually felt as if  I was in a really good place academically, and I didn’t want to ruin that momentum. It also comes from me not knowing where I was, my GPS not tracking me correctly and me having to manually figuring out where I was. I solved that problem so fast, I don’t even know why I was even the slightest bit worried.

I think that worry comes from me not knowing things in science and letting people down. I hate that so much, to me it’s a bad feeling. Except for that one time where my group members deserved it. Not being prepared for lab is like my arch nemesis. Last week in the chemistry lab, the day before I knew in the back of my mind that I shouldn’t watch Top Gun. It was the last day, and I have never seen it on the big screen (because the movie came out the year I was born).

So long story short, I am a sucker for great audio, and for that reason I decided to watch Top Gun. The next day I had a meeting, and then I had chemistry and, well I should have watched Top Gun. It was in the IMAX theatre as well,

Totally worth the embarrassment in the lab, 100% would do it again.

Social Media

I am going to start talking about behaviour that I encounter on X (formerly Twitter). I imagine that people like opinions and gossip, I have a strong feeling that it is our nature as humans.

Let me start by saying I say a lot of stuff online, I have written articles online and they are probably really poor. I have had a few Twitter accounts, I have been through so many appeals and bans across social media in general, so take that as you may. I have never really been cancelled, well they may have tried but I always resurfaced somewhere, some how.

Usually, it’s a post about women that gets me, I am just sick of how feminists are online. It’s not even all feminists or women; yet it’s just the few users who end up being the loudest. Lately though, I have been talking about the gym and fitness.

I came across this tweet.

The user talks about how if he spends hours in the gym perfecting his physique and health, he doesn’t want a woman who doesn’t do the same; rather, why we would he.

I say that they way he said it makes it sound as if he is referring to himself as superior, because he is in the gym working hard and she isn’t. I also think that when you are picking a partner, these things are kind of trivial. You can say that “the gym builds character”, but there are other ways and techniques that an individual can build their character. If we are talking about discipline, or resilience, I can think of so many other ways that you can build discipline.

Your partner doesn’t have to go to a gym! I work out alone, or with a PT/Physiotherapist, I am there for me and I am not there for me!

Anyway, the user responded that he was looking at it as more of a preference, but from the way he said it, sounds to me like he types with his nose up high.

Looking toward next week

I am going to see that movie Thursday, I sat on my glasses last week and bent the frames a bit, so I need new glasses (I have had the same pair for a while anyway).

Hope you have a great week, I also hope this rain goes away.