My last article got me thinking, what happens when you are drunk and you need to sober up fast? What are the tricks that can help you get sober quick?

The answer is simpler than you would think! Time.

There is no quick cure, “hair of the dog”, forget it, doesn’t work. There are a lot of myths about drinking that everyone probably has heard, and they all are garbage advice from people who just rely on word of mouth and confirmation bias! So let’s break this down:

Myth #1

Drinking strong coffee the morning after makes you sober.

Reason why this doesn’t work

Coffee is a diuretic, just like alcohol, therefore the only thing it will do is make you more awake (caffeine acts as a stimulant) which fends off the drowsiness of alcohol (alcohol is a depressant, *sad face*). You’ll end up more awake, but you’re BAC (blood alcohol content) level doesn’t move as a result of consuming your favourite Starbucks Dark Roast, with a splash of cream, one pump of vanilla syrup and a couple of ice cubes to fend off the scorching temperature.

Well, that’s how I drink coffee. The dangerous thing about coffee is that some people actually think it sobers you up when it doesn’t, leading those to make riskier choices endangering themselves and/or others around them!

Myth #2

I can just throw up the booze, and I’ll be sober!

Hahaha, this is funny to think about.

I am sure that I have been to parties where friends have said this exact same thing to me, and I would said “YEAH!”. While throwing up does relieve symptoms of nausea, that can occur because your body is trying to say “WHOA, TAKE IT EASY”, throwing up doesn’t do anything for you BAC level.

Alcohol is rapidly absorbed into you bloodstream, alcohol moves around as if they are like spirits or something. I don’t think that is why they are called spirits, the only way this works is if you take a sip and then immediately throw up. Which also I am sure has happened to most of us, or at least seen someone take a shot, and then puke right after!

“YEAH, PARTY HARDY”

Myth #3

Taking a cold shower to sober up.

Don’t ever do this if someone is drunk and passed out.

I am serious, if they are passed out intoxicated, putting them in a cold shower can actually lead them to slip into a coma, and that in itself is scary enough. I watch a lot of medical dramas, because I dream of being a surgeon, but I have this hand tremor that tells me no everyday.

Also, I have a brain injury (so my judgement is always questioned by others, and myself) and I am not that smart. Just like drinking coffee would, taking a cold shower may give you a quick “pick me up”, but does nothing for your BAC level.

There is nothing that can make your liver process alcohol faster, all your liver needs is time. The only thing you can do, is to make sure you eat a meal rich in carbs and fats before you go out drinking. Snack on things like bread while you are drinking may help slow down the rate at which your body absorbs the alcohol. Definitely drink water during, after and most definitely before makes a huge difference. Remember, alcohol is a diuretic, so you’re going to get dehydrated while you sleep, they say to drink a full glass of water before bed, and keep another glass by your bed (on the nightstand, for example). I actually sleep with a gatorade water bottle full of water by my bed, I get dry even when I don’t drink water, the results of having bad skin I guess.

Did you know: Alcohol inhibits the release of the hormone vasopressin? Vasopressin, commonly referred to as the antidiuretic hormone, responds to a lack of fluids over particles and tells the brain to signal to your kidneys to hold that water in!